The topic started with numerology and the 9/9 portal, which falls today. Yes, it is indeed such a date. It can be analyzed numerologically as the end of the old and the beginning of the new.

However, it may be useful to look at the emotions and feelings associated with September from a different perspective. The past few days have brought me many conversations dominated by feelings of irritation, sometimes hostility, fear, lack of control, sadness and waiting for something. Here are some words taken out of context:

– “I’m terribly irritated, I yelled at my husband and I don’t know why. I just don’t know why.”

– “I have a rush of depressive feelings again. It’s strange, because until a month ago it was ok. Maybe I should start taking medication again.”

– “My legs have been hurting oddly a bit more, somehow, for the past two weeks, and I’m very annoyed.”

– “I have a lot of grief and fear inside me recently, but mostly this fear I don’t understand.”

– “I think I understand why I feel that way. It’s like something is going to end and then start. There are many death anniversaries in my family in September: my grandmother on September 7, her sister on September 6, my grandfather at the end of the month… A sad month that affects my mood. And still my great-grandmother and her daughter died in the first bombings of Warsaw.”

We inherit the emotions of our ancestors – emotions that were once not felt, shouted out, because there was no space or time for it, and later, when the emotions were buried, it didn’t make sense to do anything with them. The body, however, remembers. At the level of the individual, family, city or nation, these emotions come back to us, even if we can’t locate or understand them. The inheritance of trauma is scientifically proven – it is worth watching a video by Dr. Jadwiga Josko-Ochojska, who explains the mechanisms of trauma inheritance https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebRlI6zx79k .

September and the emotions that come with it have many facets:

1. World War II – There is no family in Poland that has not been affected by war trauma. Our grandparents, great-grandparents, fathers went to fight, whether they wanted to or not. In fear, grief and anger that they go into the unknown, that they leave their families and may not see them again. Wives, fiancées, mothers and aunts were left at home, in fear for the lives of their loved ones and children, who did not know what exactly was going on, but felt the fear of their mothers and grandmothers, worried that those who went would not return. Fear, grief, disbelief, despair. Already at the beginning of September, many of those who left did not return – men and women. Do we feel this fear, do we feel that something might happen in September, that something is coming to an end? Take a deep breath, sit on a balcony or park bench, light a candle and thank your ancestors. Thanks to their sacrifice you are alive, and the emotions that arise in September may not be fully yours. Remember them, remember their sacrifice but in their honor live the best life you can create – for yourself, for your family for your friends.

2. Resettlements – My family was resettled in the autumn from Volhynia to the vicinity of Wroclaw. People lost everything overnight, they could take only the most necessary things, leaving their homes, animals, furniture, gardens with fruit that had not yet been harvested. They left as they had been standing, taking their family, their horse and horse-drawn cart. In fear of the unknown, a lack of control, grief and injustice, sadness for the “life” they left behind, which they most likely never mourned. Fear of what they will find in the new place. What do you miss in autumn? Perhaps you have melancholy, the cause of which you do not understand? What loss are you experiencing?
3. The Beginning of the school year – Not everyone likes it. I myself had a calendar on the wall, in which I marked how much was left until the end of the school year (this is already a topic for a separate conversation – about hypothyroidism). Just walking into school caused me frustration and anger. In many homes, the beginning of the year involves expenses – buying school supplies, books, new clothes. Parents are stressed about how they will make it to the first class meeting, worried that their children are not learning, that they have learning difficulties. Students feel the stress of returning to subjects they don’t like and teachers who are not supportive. Even years later, working elsewhere, we feel that September brings stress and some undefined requirement for more effort.
4. Advertisements – Omnipresent commercials remind us of the coming autumn and seasonal depression and decreased mood. “Buy vitamin D, B12 and other supplements.” After years of seeing such advertisements, the brain triggers autumn moods and feelings associated with depression on its own. Do you pay attention to such ads?
5. New beginning – The start of the school year, a new beginning, new challenges. We have to get on with the job, achieve better results, students have to pass the baccalaureate, we have to exceed standards. All these slogans can lead to discouragement and stress, feelings of inadequacy. Do you experience such feelings?
6. Anniversaries – Anniversaries of deaths, invasions (e.g., September 17, when Soviet troops invaded Poland – to quote my grandfather Janek, who in 1982 made me write this sentence in my school notebook. Good thing my mother reacted).
7. 9/11 – The terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center. I remember where I was when I learned about these events, I remember the TV and the apartment where I watched the events, and who I talked to about it. And those who were present there saw it with their own eyes. The example of my friend, who lives in New York and witnessed the events, shows how September can be a difficult time for some. Do you remember your emotions as you watched the coverage of the attacks? Perhaps you feel a sense of lack of control and fear that such events could happen anywhere? I passionately watched TV and fed my fear.
8. and still if someone has a birthday in September … and that’s another topic

What emotions do you have in September?  How do you feel at the beginning of the school year.

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Like you don’t know why you react the way you do to certain events, why do you fall into the same patterns? I would like to invite you to contact me – I will help you discover your unfavorable thought patterns and rephrase them and release the emotions associated with them.    – ctdbykasia@gmail.com